And now for something completely differentThe lazy quiz masters last resort.... the BBC QI.... rejects direct for the cutting room floor
There is an absolute limit to five answers... per poster... per week,... perhaps
CHRISTMAS
1. What punctures the vast majority of vehicle tyres on Christmas Island?
a) The yearly migration of red crabs
b) Rubber-eating goats
c) Mischievous school boys
2. With what are German and Ukrainian Christmas trees traditionally decorated?
a) Candy floss
b) Beer cans
c) Spiders
3. Who said: "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
a) Macaulay Culkin
b) Michael Jackson
c) Shirley Temple
4. Where does the World Santa Claus Congress take place every July?
a) The world's largest indoor arena in Germany
b) The world's oldest theme park in Copenhagen
c) The world's longest pier in France
5. When native North Americans eat reindeer, which part do they consider a delicacy?
a) The hooves boiled in cranberry stock
b) The stomach's partially-digested lichens
c) The tail braised with magic mushrooms
6. How has Birmingham City Council referred to Christmas in an attempt to be politically correct?
a) Merryseason
b) Snowmass
c) Winterval
7. What are Russian astronauts who return safely to Earth given as a welcome-home present?
a) An apple
b) A Mercedes-Benz
c) A state-of-the-art plasma screen, and 100 DVDs of their choice
8. Why did George III wear special stockings?
a) To cure his impotency
b) To help his rheumatism
c) To help his right leg grow
9. Which one of the following facts about Iceland is true?
a) 80 per cent of the population won't rule out the existence of elves
b) 30 per cent of the population still believe Father Christmas is a real man
c) 65 per cent of the population regularly drink seal's blood
10. Where will you find a Christmas tree worm?
a) On a Christmas tree
b) In a desert
c) On a tropical marine reef
DRINK
11. What colour is flamingo milk?
a) White
b) Pink
c) Bright red
12. What was Hitler's favoured tipple?
a) Lemonade
b) Fanta
c) Apple juice and soda
13. Which one of the following objects is worshipped by a Malaysian cult?
a) Giant teapot
b) Coca-Cola can
c) Espresso cup
14. When in Chile, how should you pour wine?
a) With a hand behind your back
b) With your right hand
c) With a smile on your face
15. What do Laplanders put in their coffee?
a) Reindeer oil
b) Pepper
c) Salt
16. Dmitriy Mendeleev, creator of the periodic table, is also responsible for:
a) Establishing the standard recipe for Russian vodka
b) Inventing the first working refrigerator
c) Creating the Moscow Mule cocktail
17. What did Victorians add to their bath water?
a) Vodka
b) Whisky
c) Crème de menthe
18. What is true of koalas and gorillas:
a) They only drink running water
b) They only drink once a month
c) They don't drink at all
19. Hawaii is the only US state that:
a) Grows coffee
b) Grows tea
c) Prohibits the sale of Pepsi
20. In the novels, James Bond's favourite drink is a:
a) Bourbon whiskey
b) Vodka martini
c) Champagne
FOOD
21. The Latin for cake is:
a) Patella
b) Placenta
c) Plectrum
22. According to the Roman historian Pliny the Elder, crocodile meat was used to:
a) Cure children's whooping cough
b) Conquer a fear of water
c) Heal cuts and wounds
23. Which is Liberia's national soup?
a) Turtle soup
b) Pig spleen soup
c) Goat soup
24. Wombats were eaten by early settlers in Australia. What was their cured meat known as?
a) Convict's chicken
b) Badger ham
c) Stoat bacon
25. What does pumpernickel mean in German?
a) Devil's fart
b) Heavy bread
c) Precious coin
26. Which of the following is true of rice?
a) A packet of Uncle Ben's rice was left on the Moon
b) Rice has almost twice as many genes as people
c) Rice was the favourite food of both Wellington and Napoleon
27. What is alektrophobia the fear of?
a) Eels
b) Iguanas
c) Chickens
28. The eccentric Francis Henry Egerton, 8th Earl of Bridgewater, was renowned for:
a) Cooking fried breakfasts for his parrot
b) Giving dinner parties for dogs
c) Feeding caviar to his pig
29. How did Aztecs produce salt?
a) By boiling sea water
b) By boiling their own urine
c) By buying it from their sworn enemies
30. What was once widely used to fatten poultry and pigs?
a) Arsenic
b) Bananas
c) Molasses
ANIMALS
31. What do Kenyan tribes traditionally use for surgical stitches?
a) Tightly woven snake's skin
b) Fire ant's jaws
c) Tarantula silk
32. What contribution did parrots make to the First World War?
a) They were kept on the Eiffel Tower in Paris to detect enemy aircraft
b) They were used in place of carrier pigeons by the Anzacs in Turkey
c) They were used as "guard dogs" in trenches
33. In the late 1800s, what happened to all the animals at the Budapest zoo?
a) They were eaten
b) They escaped
c) They were hypnotised
34. Why was Lionel Walter Rothschild, 2nd Baron Rothschild of Tring, famous?
a) He owned the largest collection of animals ever assembled by one man
b) He was the most prolific tiger hunter in the world
c) He regularly showjumped on a zebra
35. How many species of animal are cannibals?
a) Under 100
b) Between 500 and 600
c) More than 1,000
36. What job did Clive James and Sylvester Stallone both do before they were famous?
a) Clean out lion cages
b) Work on a sheep farm
c) Walk dogs (for money)
37. The Vietnamese word for tiger is:
a) Pig
b) Dog
c) Cop
38. What did the artist Toulouse-Lautrec use to catch fish?
a) A cormorant tied to a piece of string
b) An otter tied to a rope
c) A seal tied to a chain
39. What is a crissum?
a) The anal region of a bird
b) The bare patch on a monkey's rear end
c) A pig's front incisor
40. In 1905, what were monkeys briefly used to do in California?
a) Pick plums
b) Scare insects away from crops
c) Rescue stranded cats from trees
TRADITIONS & CUSTOMS
41. What unusual custom did the Ancient Greek historian Herodotus witness in Scythia (now the Ukraine)?
a) The ritual sacrifice of three virgins and a cock pheasant
b) Locals placing cannabis seeds on red-hot bricks inside a small tent
c) The first recorded bagpipe performance
42. In Ivrea, Italy, how do thousands of citizens celebrate the beginning of Lent?
a) They play football with watermelons
b) They bake the world's largest panettone
c) They throw oranges at one another
43. Which of these is a key achievement of the reign of Edward VIII?
a) The rule that the Prime Minister is entitled to keep livestock in Downing Street
b) The abolition of the rule that all Beefeaters should have beards
c) The abolition of the rule that the Royal Family had the right to the front pew in church
44. Why did the brilliant American dancer Gelsey Kirkland often get detained going through customs?
a) She always had a hammer in her luggage
b) She carried cocaine to improve her performance
c) She took a pet gecko with her everywhere
45. Why should you never say "Chin-chin" when raising a toast in Japan?
a) Because it refers to China
b) Because it refers to the male genitals
c) Because it mocks the host's porcelain
46. At a traditional Polish Christmas Eve dinner, what would you expect to find under the tablecloth?
a) Potato cakes
b) Hay
c) Gold coins
47. How do you non-verbally indicate "No" in Bulgarian?
a) You shake your head up and down
b) You put both hands face down on the table
c) You shake your left leg forcefully
48. What traditional Christmas item was banned in the US in the 1960s as a health risk?
a) Mistletoe
b) Tinsel
c) Santa Claus beards
49. In Ethiopia, what is played at Christmas to mark the shepherd's role in the Nativity?
a) Ram vaulting
b) Lamb racing
c) Hockey using crooks
50. Until 1930, all Australian cricket teams visiting Britain were accompanied by:
a) An aboriginal elder
b) A British etiquette adviser
c) A bat and ball polisher
DAILY TELEGRAPH
51. The Daily Telegraph once persuaded:
a) Mrs Thatcher to model tweed suits
b) Edward Heath to write limericks
c) John Major to do a limbo dance
52. What was advertised on its first front page?
a) Harrods ("I thought that all food came from Harrods?")
b) Sunnocks' cough sweets ("Not suitable for women or children under 12!")
c) Colt revolvers ("Great length of range, force and penetration.")
53. Willie, the brother of Oscar Wilde was a Telegraph sub-editor. What was unusual about him?
a) He worked topless
b) He drank three bottles of red wine a day
c) He insisted on singing the National Anthem every lunchtime
54. In 1885, roughly how many words were devoted to the trial of W T Stead, who bought a 13-year-old girl for £5?
a) 25
b) 35,000
c) 170,000
55. On Wednesday February 24, 1988, the Telegraph was:
a) Printed on pink paper
b) Printed with the wrong date
c) Cancelled due to a fire at the printers
56. Which of the following is true of the Telegraph's first editor, Alfred Bate Richards?
a) He recruited an armed militia of more than 330,000 rifles
b) He gambled his house in Sloane Square away over a game of cards and then won it back the next evening
c) He rode in, and won, the Grand National on a horse called Pegasus
57. TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has what link with the Telegraph?
a) He was the editor's tea boy
b) He wrote obituaries for the paper
c) He grew asparagus in its garden
58. Within 20 years of its establishment, the Telegraph was:
a) The best selling paper in the world
b) Described as "obscene, wretched and a waste of perfectly good paper"
c) The first newspaper to mention the word "bum"
59. Which of the following is true about the Telegraph's former home, Canary Wharf?
a) Nine human skeletons were found under Canary Wharf when it was being built
b) 13 Canary Wharf Tower has no 13th floor
c) 100 canaries were released at the development's launch party
60. What is Quite Interesting about the Quebec-Chronicle-Telegraph?
a) It has the smallest readership of any paper in the world
b) It is North America's oldest paper, and was printed in English and French
c) Its first editor was a professional ice hockey player
DOGS
61. What did Alexander Graham Bell try to teach his dog?
a) How to talk
b) How to walk on two legs
c) How to dance to music
62. What is the most appropriate thing to say when you want a team of huskies to pull?
a) Pull!
b) Hike up!
c) Mush!
63. Dogs are mentioned 41 times in the Bible, but how many times are cats?
a) None
b) 34 times
c) 169 times
64. What made the Royal Navy mascot Judy so special in 1942?
a) She was the only dog officially registered as a Second World War PoW
b) She was the only animal to be fitted with a false leg
c) She was the first dog to be taught Morse code
65. In which of these countries are dogs still eaten?
a) Lapland
b) Switzerland
c) Lesotho
66. What is the state dog of Nova Scotia?
a) The Nova Scotia duck-tolling retriever
b) The Nova Scotia flat-faced pointer
c) The Nova Scotia squirrel Hound
67. What links Charles Addams, creator of the Addams family, with dogs?
a) He was married in a dog cemetery
b) He had more than 40 dogs living with him as pets
c) He always signed his letters "your affectionate hound"
68. Which of these was a real war?
a) The Dog Tax War
b) The Dog Day War
c) The Dog & Duck War
69. The San Francisco Giants baseball team employs which of the following to retrieve their balls?
a) Portuguese water dogs
b) Vietnamese forest dogs
c) Colorado desert dogs
70. What canine accessory can you purchase in Tokyo?
a) Dog toupées
b) Dog karaoke kits
c) Dog home-gym kits
SCIENCE
71. Which of the following is not the name of a nebula?
a) Tarantula
b) Dumbbell
c) Hyena
72. Which of the following syndromes do astronauts suffer?
a) Dizzy-Lizzy Stomach-Churn
b) Puffy-Head Bird-Legs
c) Now You See It, Now You Don't
73. In 1964, what did the US government ask (then) recent doctoral graduates Dave Dobson and Bob Selden to do?
a) Design a nuclear bomb from scratch
b) Tunnel into the Pentagon undetected
c) Build the first lunar module
74. Galileo Galilei had part of his body preserved as a relic. Which part?
a) The middle finger of his right hand
b) His right eye
c) His brain
75. When the Huygens probe landed on Titan in January 2005, a probe examined the surface of the Moon. Which dessert did scientists say most closely mirrored its surface?
a) Blancmange
b) Steamed sponge pudding (with custard)
c) Crème brûlée
76. Which of the following statements about scientists is true?
a) Scientists are 67 per cent more likely to divorce than other professions
b) Only one in 65 scientists is a woman
c) Ninety per cent of the scientists who ever lived are alive today
77. Which of the following is not a true species?
a) Agraphobia
b) Agravation
c) Abracadabra
78. Which of these was invented by Joseph Priestley, the discoverer of oxygen?
a) The bicycle pump
b) Soda water
c) The camping stove
79. Which type of meat did Charles Darwin declare the best he'd ever eaten?
a) Anaconda
b) Agouti
c) Puma
80. Which of the following did Einstein invent?
a) An alcohol-powered fridge
b) A solar-powered washing machine
c) A wind-powered car
GENERAL IGNORANCE
81. What is the first name of the current Prince of Wales?
a) Charles
b) Philip
c) Arthur
82. Which substance causes the most car accidents?
a) Cannabis
b) Hay fever remedies
c) Alcohol
83. Who wrote the song Lick My bottom?
a) Lenny Bruce
b) Wolgang Amadeus Mozart
c) The Pogues
84. Who was the tallest man who ever lived?
a) Robert 'Pershing' Wadlow
b) Mike 'Towers' Southon
c) Harry 'Lofty' Lloyd
85. Where are Panama hats made?
a) Chile
b) Panama
c) Ecuador
86. What did the word "idiot" originally refer to?
a) Children who couldn't read or write
b) Anyone who lived below the Equator
c) Anyone who wasn't a politician
87. Where do most tigers live?
a) Northern Indian forests
b) Siberian taiga
c) Private homes in America
88. Where was the game of Sudoku originally conceived?
a) Greece
b) Switzerland
c) Japan
89. Gorilla gorilla gorilla is the scientific name for a gorilla, Bison bison is the scientific name for a bison. What is the scientific name for a puffin?
a) Puffinus puffinus
b) Agelaius phoeniceus
c) Fratercula arctica
90. Where are the British mountains?
a) North America
b) Northern France
c) Ireland
COUNTRIES
91. How was the first Pharoah of Egypt killed?
a) Struck by lightning
b) Trampled by a hippopotamus
c) Crushed inspecting his own tomb
92. Louis XVIII of France had a rare talent. Could he:
a) Tell by smelling a rabbit stew which part of France the rabbit came from
b) Sing the French National Anthem in 17 different languages
c). Open a bottle of Champagne without using his hands
93. What is unusual about the Greek national anthem?
a) It has three different tunes.
b) It has 158 verses.
c) It was written by an Estonian
94. A single factory in Poland produces:
a) Twenty per cent of the world's Lego
b) Twenty per cent of the world's air fresheners
c ) Twenty per cent of the world's apple juice
95. In Brazil, what is a "bumbum" policy?
a) Insurance for your bottom
b) A strategy for controlling vagrants
c) A dance technique
96. What would happen if dung beetles disappeared on the plains of Africa?
a) You would be up to your waist in dung within a month.
b) All the desert oases would dry up
c) The wild elephant population would half in two years
97. Adedoyin Street in Aguda, Nigeria, is an infamous haunt of local prostitutes. How is it known locally?
a) Jiggy Jiggy Alley
b) How's Your Father Road
c) Good Evening Sir Street
98. What do priests pamper at the Karniji temple in Deshnok, India?
a) Sacred cats
b) Sacred bats
c) Sacred rats
99. Since 2000, Estonia can call itself a world-beater. Has it:
a) Won the highest number of Olympic medals per head?
b) The world's lowest rate of teenage pregnancy?
c) The world's most successful breakdance team?
100. Until 1972, what tune was the national anthem of the Maldives sung to?
a) Good King Wenceslas
b) Happy Birthday
c) Auld Lang Syne
Heading out for the East Coast / Lord knows I've paid some dues gettin' through, / Tangled up in blues.
